sorrow and thanks

give thanks and feel the sorrow
hug the bunny and shoot the deer
breathe the air and stack the wood
love your life and leave the death
walk with our sons and daughters
forgive and forget
rely and remove regret
ditch the painful leftovers
rainy nights and dark rest areas
keep me awake
full of thought

Out on the Weekend (s)

Is it right that it has taken the sad death of another friend to get me to write about all the good in my life? The question is posed and remains there for what it tis....

Let's go back two weeks when Mary and I went in to Detroit for a celebration of my mother's 79th birthday and reunions with other family and friends. BMad from Northern CAlifornia was in town visiting his family and friends and him, myself and Bill Corby, newly retired and newly married, had made plans to gather at his Grosse Pointe abode for a brain storming session of sorts on the now novel project, "The Spot", which has been a few years in the making. It was a good couple hours of tossing ideas around, all three with our wireless laptops sitting in a small upstairs room in Corby's crib. There were some new divulgences of things that went down years ago that I thought were crucial to the story. It was solid time spent with Corby jotting down notes as he seems to be the one taking the story on and writing it. It is the retelling of my and BMad's historic hitchhiking trip to California back in 1972 and our lives since and relationship over that time. It was a sunny fall day in metro Detroit and we took a walk a couple blocks to the village of Grosse Pointe for a beer and a bite before we all had to move on to other things. I need to mention that Friday night Mary and I snuck in a visit to my Dad and Bev's in Sterling Heights where we caught up on things and kept it a hoppin on this weekend trip to Hometown Motown.

Saturday morning Mary and I we were up and at em after breakfast with mamere' and over to Brother Den's and Jo's. Denny and I went to the Amish Store nearby in Mt. Clemens and to buy the steaks and some spinach for the dinner later. Denny and Jo are gourmet cooks of a sort and like to buy the "good" (read $ stuff). We then went to the fish store next to the Amish store and bought the giant prawns we would also be grillin later. BMad and cuz Patti came over to visit while Denny and Jo rubbed the meat and prepared the shrimp. Soon we would be off for the local Farmers Market to finish our dinner shopping and finally to Meiers for cards, flowers and wine.

The surprise for the evening for my mom was to be my nephew Marshall (Dennis' son) and companion Marie coming to the dinner. Marshall and Marie moved from San Francisco to Detroit this summer and had ridden bicycles cross country on a once in a lifetime journey. They now live in a communal situation working to improve living situations for folks in Detroit. That is a whole blog in itself and online somewhere I am sure. So there presence was gonna make the dinner special as was the presence of BMad who has always been considered family as I have been in his. The guys grilled in the old backyard and the girls made desserts and salad. It was a fine feast and a special night for my mom who was celebrating 79 years after a rough year with the death of my step-dad and her heart attack and triple bypass shortly after. Prayers and toasts offered. The newlywed Corby's also stopped by to say hello and offer best wishes.

After dinner I would take Mom's friend Dorothy home, Denny and Jo took Marshall and Marie to their abode and BMAd, Corby's and Mary would all meet me over at Patti and Joe J's in Sterliing Heights for some "oldies" partying. BMad's Sister Sue was there and the fun EnSued, more dancing, shots, craziness and we watched the Giants win the NLCS. Much San Francisco history abounds within and around us.

We hung til after midnight and didn't feel too bad the next morning when Mary and I would say our goodbyes to Mom and be off to home.

Now a little surprise came open on Friday the 29th. I had received a call from long time new best friend Eric Kite asking if we were doing anything Friday and would we want to go see Bob Dylan with him and wife Kristin as he had two xtra tickets, well long story short he comped us on tix, we went and had dinner at the Park Club (Eric does work for the owners), first time there preshow and then saw Bobby D. do his groove-swing-blues thing, singing in tongues but giving an entertaining show at the Miller Auditorium. What a sweet little bonus and gesture for Mary and I-friends coming round making a call, taking a chance.

>That weekend was Halloween and we had plans for our fifth consecutive year over in Fennville/Saugatuck on Saturday at Dave and Pat G.Na's for the festivities there and this year we would have Patti and Joe J. join for the first time. Bill Corby (last years David Niven) and new bride Patty R. would also be joining us from over in the Detroit area. These are all folks we have hung out with for 30-40 s0me years and still having fun together. This year the plan was to take in the infamous city of Douglas' Halloween parade which started at 10:00 PM Saturday night. After a splendid dinner whipped up for us by Pat and Dave we again this year took the InterUrban Bus which picked us up at the farm in Fennville.

We got a good spot in the little town of Douglas, which is just south of Saugatuck, on the parade route which was 10-12 people deep for 3-4 blocks long, most in costumes of some sort. It was a tad chilly but our flasks and moving to the blasting sound system kept us thinking we were warm. The parade was cool, opening with the participants doing the Thriller dance routine then lining up and gyrating through the parade route. I would not call many of the costumes outrageous but the cold probably kept more clothes on. Still there were some great costumes and it was worth seeing, who knows maybe we will be in it next year. So after the parade we made a mad dash for the bus that was leaving for our next destination, the Saugatuck Brewing Co. which had their annual party with bands. We found a table sitting with the owners, we would find out, and we danced and got our photos taken by the photographer who was set up there. After a couple of drinks, dancing and lotsa laughs Pat called the bus and we headed home with the bus to ourselves. Stayed out late again for a memorable time in Douglas, no Saugatuck this year. ( Saugatuck Brewpub is in Douglas).

We would head back to Richland the next morning as the cranes were abundant in the farmland around Fennville serenading with their wake up calls.

Sunday was Halloween day but I had enough of it by this point Mary would pass out the candy as we have one of those neighborhoods that kids come in droves, driven inby their parents from surrounding parts. I was glad when our lights went out and it was over.

I would come to find out on Monday that my friend Jerry Cox had passed on early Monday morning after a 3 year struggle with ALS disease. We met in golf league 12 years ago and enjoyed each others company whenever we hung out. I attended his memorial last Friday.

So I came to write here today about the weekends recently spent with close family and friends and how important it is to connect and continue reconnecting while we still have one another in our lives. Even if it still is dressing up goofily or celebrating survival or remembering those special moments we have had with in the past. It is the making of those moments that we can either chose to do or not, get in the game or not. It is the making the drive over, sharing a meal, taking the plane there or riding on the funny bus that is usually worth the effort to keep making memories; they are all that is left us.

Watching the Wheels

a bit of stream of consciousness about some of the last 6 weeks for Mary and I:

trips to HollandFennville old friends Second City laughs Saugatuck cigar smoke the Sand Bar

swirls into Art Hop Kalamazoo Mangia Mangia music of TDuff, Lorraine the Old Dog friends and Susan Prime to Outdoors chilling with the Karma Blue crew and jamming by the bonfire keeping up with the kids and the kitty becoming a cat companion this

unreal weather wedding country club style while drowning in televised political promo doublespeak Sparty shines on

through the "shadows on the wall just watching the wheels go round and round" the trees rise and will fall on this, we pursue the light from darkness as I make my way to 58

Summer Wanes

The end of summer in Reno's World usually means The Hokey Open, the Wheatland Festival, the end of summer golf league and back to school/work. For me personally, no more back to school but it is for Mary and Callie. It still is strange not getting hyped for the new school year but I honestly do not miss the "dread" of Mondays and going back. Callie has moved out again up near WMU campus so we are back to the "empty nester" life, at least to a degree.

A fairly busy summer it has been with lots of fun and new places visited. Marty, Dave L., Mark H., and myself all put forth a solid effort in making the Hokey Open happen again this year. We had 75 players and a gorgeous day and it seemed like we all had a good time-keeping the memory of Buster, Billy, Rob, and Jimmy alive out on Mullenhurst's green fairways.

Wheatland Music Festival started out dry and beautiful on Friday but the rain became a game changer on Saturday as it rained for the first time I can remember during the day when acts were playing. The thousands coped, adapted and we were all drying out by Sunday morning when the sun returned. It was another weekend full of friends and families, music, good food and the arts.

This year was the first time we did the entry line on Friday morning as we caravan-ed with the Claflin clans troupe. It was a 6:00 am start, 2 hr. drive, drinking bloody marys in line, and just hanging out in the sunny morning weather. We were in through the gates at around noon and Sister Suze and Lilly got there just ahead of us and were holding a spot but spots were filling up fast. We held one for "Wheaties", Faith and Ken and squeezed them in for their first "Happy Wheatland" experience.

Musical highlights for me were Celtic band, Slide Ireland, Dave Alvin and the Guilty Women (with Cindy Cashdollar who was the bomb on steel-slide guitars), Dave Alvin-Joel Maebus duo, Deliah DeWilde on main stage and dance pavilion this year, Seth and May, Red Sea Pedestrians, and as I sat solo in the steady rain with my umbrella bopping at Main Stage with a few other hearty souls listening to the Jeff and Vida Band from Nashville.

Even Susan's Palamazoo show had to deal with the rain on Saturday but it went on and we had a fun time with those young and old who were there. Mary even led a um(brella dance line through the crowd to the musical grooves put out by Susan, Dana and the friends of Palamazoo.

The sunny Sunday morning gospel "church" as we call it is always inspiring with Rachel Davis' Amazing Grace putting the finishing Amen on it and kicking off Sunday's performances.This year definitely had a Kalamazoo-Michigan feel to it with all the local performers which was fun to see.

Mary and I as always enjoyed our time with Sue and Lilly. We became Lilly's horsies and she kept our hooves cleaned all weekend back at the campground. Even though I seem to be out-numbered at Camp Estrogen every year I did have neighbors Tim and Rob to run to when I felt the need to getaway;) Mikey D. and Mick's visits are appreciated as well. There is always a lot of prep time for this annual event and it is over too fast but still a memorable and shared experience full of appreciation for peaceful and creative expressions.

Between seeing all that creativity and recently reading Roseanne Cash's book, Composed which spoke a lot about the artistic voice and that energy within us and giving that expression amidst a world that at times seems like we have little to control, I look toward to finishing up my memoir about my early caddying days in Detroit, continue musical collaborations with Clone Studios and coming up with new song and book material. Enjoy the last of summer and cope with the changes as they float and fall into our lives.

Blissed Out In the Water

The second leg of this series of blogs comes forth from the waters of south central Wisconsin. Specifically the Dells, where our nephew Luke wed his sweetheart Rachel last weekend. It was a destination wedding/reception of sorts where the celebration took place at Noah's Ark Waterpark. The weather cooperated for the reception which followed the Friday ceremony and the day turned out warm, wacky and wonderful.There were special geographical tatoos and homemade Aloe Vera spray favors for everyone. the sustainabull theme carried throughout including the Equal Exchange Coffee, Teas and Chocolate that was available as well as other tasty chow. It was especially enjoyabull for Mary and I as we had our two daughters to relive some water park adventures of yesteryear as Callie and Ashley and I waited in some long lines for rides like the Black Anaconda, the Slidewinder and the newest ride the Scorpion's Tail, a thrilling blur of a vertical drop and 360 degree blast into the water that we did with waited on for over an hour with Mary's bros Mike and Joe. Luke and Rachel had a non-traditional wedding and celebration with many loving family friends in showing support.The After parties back at the Best Wastern where we stayed were also fun and memorabull. Ashley and I got to witness Rachel's "trash the dress" dive into hotel pool Saturday night. The dress appeared to be indestructibull as did the spirit of love that was evident all around.

Sunday, Mary, I and Callie drove Ashley back to Chicago on our way home as she spent a couple more days with her friends before she flew back Wednesday to Boston. Thanx again to Molly for the Chitown accomodations.

It was a long drive for a quick trip to a fun and an interesting piece of real estate there in Wisconsin and by way Luke and Rachel my wristbands are on day 5;). Sum Sum Summa Thyme Rolls on...............................

Summer Swing

This will be the first of two blogs telling summer tales from my annual Guys Golf Getaway to the Jackson, MI area and our family's trip to the wedding of cousin Luke and his bride Rachel in Wisconsin.

Usually reserved for the first weekend of August the GGG has become an annual tradition of now 12 years for buddies, Mikey D., Petey, and Jimmy Jazz. We decided to stay downstate this year and do an abbreviated trip and take in a couple of fine golf courses over in the Jackson area which we had heard good things about and were a good deal. The courses were the Grande and Calderone Farms. We had good weather both days cept for a brief shower on the first day at the Grande which was typically hot and humid for this summer. Grande is a very nice course with a laid back vibe located just south of Jackson. After a good day of golf where Petey and I won the $ on the par 3 Greenie contest and Mikey D. and Petey won the Vegas game we played. We decided on Italian for the night and ate at Giglio's where the food was good but the service not so much. We made an early night of it and just hung out back in our rooms at the Hampton for the rest of the evening, myself nursing my overeating of the clam linguine I had for dinner and the cannoli we had for dessert.

Friday morning we had an earlier tee time and a farther drive over to Calderone Farms on the east side of Jackson just off the 94 corridor. The day was cooler but pleasantly warm and Peter shot a great round just missing breaking 80. Mike was feeling the pain of tendonitis and tried bravely to finish his round but ended up being our cart caddy for most of the last nine holes. Jazzman did well for not playing much this summer and finished both days unhappy that a Greenie ( greenie is the player closest to the hole and on the green for par 3's) was not be for him or anyone else on the second day as we were all shutout. Calderone is a pretty Links style course for a great price where a laid back vibe also makes for a pleasant round. After, we headed back after a tour of Jackson looking for a bank we hit he rooms for a rest as we planned to head out to Chelsea for dinner at the acclaimed Chelsea Grill. The Chelsea Grill did not disappoint as the food there and service were top notch, even without reservations we got in with less than a half hour wait.

The evening wound up with us playing poker back in Mike and Pete's room, situating the card table between the two beds. Jazz and I were the winners at cards. We took a smoke break for cigars and ciggies and danced having a little PLP in the hotel lot. I should mention that Jimmy and I celebrate our 40 year anniversary of being roommates at Western this fall and we still be hangin out as good friends.

Our trip concluded with a quick stop the next morning to the new Firekeepers Casino near Battle Creek and I left there with a bit more money than I walked in with, bonus. We were all home early on Saturday with another GGG trip filed into the memory banks and photo albums representing our annual 3 G.

in the midst of summer

I have been away from the blogging for several weeks now since the beginning of summer. Now, in the midst of summer, a very warm and sultry summer, we begrudgingly know that it will be on the wane, but not before some other exciting events on the horizon.

I must report on some of the happenings in the past month or so. July 4th was spent for the most part by Mary and I out at Bro-in-laws Joe C's crib kayaking, eating fish and hangin. Cuz Sharon and Jeff were out there doin a little camping and kayaking. And on July 12th, youngest Callan Jean turned 21. Mary and my subdued celebration with her out for Sushi was after her FB covered "real" party the night before.

Two weeks later we were out at Lake Michigan where Sharon spent her birthday camping. Mary and I camped for a night with them, swam in the warmest LM water in years and hung by another campfire. I paid off my bet debt to the Wedge I had made with him at Joe's C's over who wrote "Love on the Bayou" , (a song I had only heard Tom Petty do, it was the Byrds)), with a combo 6 pack of Shlitz and Shocktop. We left there on Saturday AM to attend the big party by the river, a great event put on my Kath and Larry, where the Wild Woody's put on a super show and we danced and chowed til it was time to go.

Two of most enjoyable moments were Sunday's by the pool at Mike and Susan's. The "good Rick" brought some homebrew both times and everyone pitched in with food and we had a couple of splendid afternoons. MJ Lacasse even showed up with some scuba gear trying to give some expertise to a vent situation in the bottom of the pool. The second one where "the 4 Stevens" made an appearance we had a cool jam with a bunch of percussionists and Melvis and Marty and Susan providing the guitar and vocal sounds.

After that it was Mary and Callie getting ready for their Boston trip to visit daughter Ashley and me heading to Detroit for friend Corby's recently announced nuptials. BMad had come back from California for a summer trip with his daughter so The Johnson's, Corby, BMad and myself had an impromptu bachelor and birthday party for Corby over in Sterling Hts. Between that and the good times and feelings at the wedding reception seeing old friends and hanging with Susie M. and golfing with PBolde (Rockman) I was a bit tired on my wayback from Det. to Kalamazoo for yet another summer celebration, the 20th annual 39 again party on Gull Lake hosted by Marty, Dale and the other Joe C.

Mary and Callie arranged a ride from cuz Sharon to the Airport so we could represent at the wedding without too much driving hassle. by the time I got back from Detroit there were on there way to Boston.

The party at the Jolly Mon's (Marty's boat) home marina was large but with a lot of space, food, beverages, friends and music. Marty had secured the local fave reggae band, Zion Lion, with assists from Mary to play and it worked out great. My man Asanne, had me come up and play percussion with the band and there was a cool "Irie" vibe in the pole barn right on the waters of Gull Lake bay. After a half dozen songs or my arms were noodles but it was much fun. I hit the party wall after 3 days around 10:30 and after my last beer from LD I was toast, went home to the kitty which I haven'[t said much about. Neko has been my companion the last few days while the girls have been gone on their fun trip. Sometimes obnoxiously playful and other times cuddly she has been good to have here.

Then yesterday, a last minute little golf excursion, with the Coash's, the Jodester, G, and myself turned out fun as we found a place that let us golf, swill, sweat and lose balls out near Gobles at Shamrock Hills. Great seeing Some good folks from my old job.

Whew, so that leads me to today and anticipating the return of Mary and Callie after my golf league tonight I go and pick them up. Then tomorrow I am off the "Guys golf Getaway" our 12 year or so with Jazzman, Mikey D. and Peter. We head to Jackson this year for an abbreviated tour of some of their finest courses. There will a report in the next blog about that and the Water Park wedding reception at the Wisconsin Dells where we go the following weekend.

As I look back over the past several months I am reminded of how life's ebb and flow of the highs and lows are always there for us to maneuver and negotiate. My mom is doing well, post heart attack and triple bypass, currently she is enjoying summer at Sister Sue's up north. All of us are reminded of my Step dad Linc's passing on a daily basis. We have a new pet after Maddie's unfortunate illness and death, in Neko and Jimmy C's picture on the fridge smiling away is another reminder of how fragile and wonderfully delicate life is.

The summer allows us to feel and experience so much, what the gardens being to us, the travels, swimming in the waters of Michigan, the incredible food, the sun making us sweat on the golf course greenery, and spending valuable time with family friends who make it all special. Again , savor it, breathe in the fresh air and get lost in the midst of summer "time".