It's About Time, I Feel a Blog Coming On, Part 3. Movin On Past the Past

Good sleeping was difficult from thoughts of all the happenings and hallmarks of life lived. As I lay in bed the drone like sound of a lawnmower, cutting through the thick grasses from this rain filled spring plows on.What will I speak to at the memorials coming up about my friends, their lives? The evening of Jazzy Jeff and Jazzman's deaths was a golf league night. No question game should go on. I even went out early to play a 9 before and  it turned out to be only golf Peter and I played as an unpredicted, cool steady rain and wind began. Instead I would toast a Jameson's out of my flask in my golf bag, a couple of Oberon's at Thornnapple lounge and off to see if I can track down Martin J. and others at Richland Pub where I guessed other friends of Jeff would be meeting. There were about 6 others at a packed Pub where we would try and process the latest in too soon demises. We did our best.

Jeff Lambert's Memorial service was on the Saturday after his passing where many friends and family gathered in Richland. Several folks spoke and I played a short tune on a harmonica Jeff had given me several years before. Marty offered to host an impromptu wake at his place nearby where we all shared sentiments with one another and Jeff's family. It was a pleasant afternoon of toasts and a fond farewell the man from Lake Odessa.

Jim Miller's service would not be til the following weekend. Jim would have a more formal morning service at St. Luke's Episcopal in downtown Kalamazoo where he attended and was involved in church business, Also participating on this day would be The Masonic Order as Jim was a member of The Masons. I was able to speak about the James Alan Miller I knew but was asked to be brief so I did what I could sharing just a glimpse into the simple complexities of Jimmy Jazz. I even lead those in attendance in the chorus of Jazz's song Tourist Town. Jim's family was very much in mourning and grieving as were the rest of us. We all said so long to the man from Grand Haven. After a luncheon and out into the overcast and rainy day Mary and I had to shift gears and head out to Detroit for my brother Dennis' surprise 60th birthday.

My brother's party was to be a surprise planned by his daughter Erin, who lives in San Francisco. I was conserving my energy from a long day already so Mary drove through torrential downpours half the way there. Flooded highways and dark gray skies were not going to stop us as we plowed through making it there in time before 6:30 to Buca di Beppo, a really unusual, cool Italian place on the near Northeast side of suburban Detroit. Dennis was duly surprised as he and JoEllen arrived and a wonderful, celebratory night was shared as all our parents were there along with brothers and sisters, Dennis' son Marshall, and close friends and coworkers. Erin was accompanied by her new beau Scott who was meeting us all for the first time. What made this even more special was the fact that Denny was just approaching 2 years since his triple bypass open heart surgery. It was a special night Erin made happen. Denny and I both saw 60 after our heart episodes.

The following weekend on June 6 we would attend a wedding of Callie's longtime friend Ashley out here in Gull Lake, another grand occasion on a lovely setting and afternoon.While at the wedding reception Callie's boyfriend Andrew came over to me and said did you hear about the horse race? I said no what ? American Pharaoh completed her historic run and won The Belmont Stakes and the Triple Crown.Yes! That horses' magic ride to glory was a joy to follow.
 On Father's Day weekend we would head back to Detroit to meet up with cousin Judy and Tim. They live in Oregon and Tim had never been east of Mississippi. They did a whirlwind tour of Pure MI. Downtown Detroit and up north being highlights.They made diner for my Mom, her Auntie, Bro Den and JoEllen, Mary and I. It was fun sharing family memories and making new ones.
On Fathers Day we would get up and go over to my Dad and Bev's early for some love before we would head back to Richland as Callie was putting together a meal for us and we were scheduled to Skype with Ashley later in evening.
Last weekend of June would bring about a couple of late June celebrations. Both somewhat unexpected and long overdue. One on Friday June 26th the day marriage made history and was made legal for all. Mary and I were in downtown Kalamazoo  in Bronson Park for a while witnessing wedding ceremonies take place and  joining others in rejoicing the decision. Oddly enough it was almost to the day that we witnessed daughter Ashley and Sherry's wedding in Salem, Mass.two years prior.The last time inspiration struck me to blog again. Mary and I continued celebrating visiting Boatyard Brewing and Bell's Eccentric Cafe for rest of the evening.
On Saturday a reunion with an old friend Steve D. whom I met as a dorm mate at Western in 1971. We got to meet his significant one, Clare in a reunion at Ron and Con's. It had been 30 some years since we had seen one another. They reside in NYC and were headed out west for the Summatime. Dave P. my roommate in that dorm showed up catching up on life since last we all were together. With great friends it is always same as it ever was

1. Today is June 30, Ashley and Sherry's 2 year anniversary. Now throughout the USA as we approach Independence Day other couples can plan and take part in events like we did with Ashley and Sherry, their friends and families 2 years ago.  As I write the SW MI region just experienced its second earthquake in 2 months the first coming on Callie's graduation day, the start of this blog. Extraordinary events? Indeed!

So much has taken place. As I can see now, most of it in celebrations, rejoicing our milestones and accomplishments and lives well lived. Mine is not such an extraordinary tale, all of our lives have this ebb and flow. So  many reasons to celebrate. I see it in just the last week in all the anniversaries of friends. The sweet sounds of summer, birds chirping and humans singing, as Joni Mitchell would say lawns hissing, beating drums, here and now all help to drown out the drone noise of dread.

 The sky cries but hasn't fallen. The rain falls but moves on. When life pushes

we need not retreat but accept and adjust, move on past the past, suffering and struggle are part of the same life-death package, We are here now, let us live it and love it while we can.    Sreno 

Into Every Life a Little Rain Must Fall, I Feel a Blog Comin on Part 2

Yes, a little rain must fall but what we have seen recently in May-June all over much of the country other than California is a bit excessive. Grass is growing faster, things sure are green but thick and soggy.
As I begin  Part 2 of this post I need to mention that during the last several months my friend and first college roommate, Jim was in and out of the hospital battling the effects of liver disease since September. By May he had numerous treatments and his physical self was slowly deteriorating. Many visits and outings during this time were made with other friends Mikey D. and Seabiskit to keep his spirits up. I will get back to this later in this blog but this was part of the drone soundtrack playing in the background during May that I previously mentioned.

So Callie graduated and next on our May list of hallmarks was eldest daughter, Ashley's 30 birthday on Cinco de Mayo. Does having a 30 year old child make one feel old? It is a marker of some sort I suppose. Ashley had plans for a celebration that involved bringing some of her east coast pals along with friends she met at MSU to her home state for a Pure Michigan party. As many of you know per previous blog of her nuptials 2 years ago in Massachusetts where she resides was a wonderful affair.
Well, she rents a super place in South Haven right on North Beach that will sleep 10 comfortably and the plan is on for Memorial weekend. Before that Mary and I had our 32nd Wedding anniversary on May 14th. Since we had already done our dinner celebration with friends our marking of the event was a quiet affair, happy together.
note: On May 16th in a rain soaked downpour American Pharaoh won The Preakness on a sloppy track, the second leg of the Triple Crown at hand.
The week of Ashley's 30 Bday fest was upon us. We were anticipating their arrival on Thursday when on Wednesday the news that Jimmy The Jazz had passed that morning came from Mike Seabiskit Seaton. Barb, Jim's wife had called the night before saying he was failing so it was not a complete shock as each recent visit he was weaker and weaker. He had fought against the inevitable for the last 9 months, his coherency coming and going at times. My first college roomie from almost 45 years ago, band mate, part of an annual golf foursome, and close friend had faded away from this life.

Now as I was calling friend Martin J. to tell him about Jazz before I could tell him he was telling me he had just returned from our friends Jeff and Lucinda house across the street from him and Jeff was found dead in his basement where he had been painting the night before, paint roller still in hand. Jeff did have some medical issues but still a shocker. Another former band mate and friend for close to 25 years gone. 2 60 year old gents whose obituaries would both read May 20th as date of passing. They had played music together in the Hokey Barn and Clone Studios. Cue the soundtrack, louder it loomed.

To wrap up Ashley and Sherrys' Pure Michigan weekend visit without much detail I can say it was well planned as we have grown to expect from an event planner like Ash, starting from airline flights, pickups, places to go in and around Kalamazoo, Richland,and South Haven and back to the airport for their flights home. Mary and I provided a home base and our vehicles as needed. We got to hang out a couple nights and a day with some fun loving, interesting women who made us feel as young as is possible. We had a BnB gift certificate from Callie and Andrew that we used at The Inn at the Park just a few blocks from where the girls were staying. A delightful place with great beds and breakfast. Sister Callie came out and stayed a couple nights and as always made her presence felt.

On Memorial Day we assisted with the load out and drive back to Richland with more than a few bottles and cans to return. A really great Three-0 celebration was a success. Weather had been mostly sunny and minimal rain fell. Their last stop before airport was Old Dog Tavern. Choo Choo Chug-a-lug. After the ladies left and our normal life returned there now was memorials to think about and my brothers surprise 60th Birthday celebration in Detroit to attend. Stay tuned....for Pt.3 wrap up.

It's About Time, I Feel a Blog Coming On Pt.1

To say it has been an extraordinary several weeks of spring is an understatement. Today my wife Mary just left for work for her last day employed with Kalamazoo Public Schools after 37 years service in various
positions. Mostly as a  paraprofessional working in Special Education or Early Childhood classrooms. Much of the last few weeks has been spent with events and parties for her from the district, PEEP program, her building, the union she was a part of, etc. Today will wind up with one more after work gathering at The Old Dog Tavern. Kudos dear, bring on the next phase.

So as a prelude her final day takes me  back to her turning 60 first week of May, the last weeks of MI winter and our trip to Florida to visit BMad and his love Lee. We had a wonderful brief visit tooling around the waterways of Venice, walking the beach and enjoying the company and the weather. On our return she had a party on her bday at where else ODT in downtown Kalamazoo.So you see already the circular nature of this story already.
My intention/motivation/inspiration for Return of the Blog is the all of life is a circle.  Our celebrations of survival another year, winter, illness, accomplishments etc. Deaths we mourn and attempts to celebrate the lives through memorials while the grief plays on our mindset for a time like a drone soundtrack.

April was slow to warm and my return to golf league after a years sabbatical due to shoulder surgery, Partner Peter took me back in what is a blog story in itself for another time but our first night golfing was warm and I began playing well for a few weeks. There was some nasty weather following where us Roughriders played wimps and ate and drank instead.

I should mention our "anniversary dinner group", Konvalinks, Dilucchios, Wiegands and Symons'  had to move up our usual mid-May celebration to April this year to fit in our night out together which consisted of an Asian Fusion meal at Wild Ginger and music at ODT.

Then first of May was upon us and on May second we were out of the shoot like a Derby Day horse, we were headed to second born, Callan Jean's graduation from Western Mi. University. Celebration in order! After 7 years of up and down struggles, Callie achieved her goal of a teaching degree in Early Childhood Education with hopes of a decent job in some form of education. We celebrated her stick- to-it tiveness and not giving up when it was a struggle with a promised Lobster dinner with beau Andrew, his mom, Mary and myself. Callie made herself proud as well as all of us supporters when she walked across the stage and received that diploma. Her successful intern teaching was done at her old elementary school here out at Gull Lake. (what goes round), where some little ones cried to see her leave. Her next phase beckons. Added note here after dinner we happened to catch  American Pharaoh win the Derby, moving around that track the fastest, setting up the run for Glory for Triple Crown, come what May. Part 2 to come.

Once in a Lifetime: The Wedding Day, Pt..2

So it was almost 4PM and time for the ceremony to start, the DJ was in place playing tunes from Ashley's Playlist as folks took their seats, flowers were put on grandparents and all was good to go.
Up to this point I have attempted to put in details I could remember about these few days last summer. To finish up I will try and give more of my fatherly perspective in this last wedding post.
As Mary and I waited our turn to bring Ashley down the aisle I watched as my Dad and Beverly, Callie, Jenny (Sherry's sister) and Sherry's parents, Tony and Tracy, escorted her, went down and took their places, Sherry was now in place as was Rada, both ready to begin the ceremony. I was telling myself to breathe, take in as much of the moment as I could, not rush it, advice I also had given Ashley but when the theme music from A Princess Bride began it all became a blur as Moose told us it was our turn to proceed. One of my favorite photos someone took is one from this moment as we step off the porch, Ashley between Mary and I, my tentative grip on Ashley a sign she was still our first born but we would soon be letting go of her to wed her best friend, who by this time upon seeing Ashley was tearing up pretty good as was most of those in attendance. Mary and I breezed her down the aisle turning her loose, all exchanged hugs and took our seats. Ceremony was emotional for all, short and sweet, the sisters read a traditional Chinese blessing and Callie spoke it in English. I read an original something, Not Just Any Someone,  Ashley had asked me to contribute. I kept it together pretty well explaining how 9 months earlier my prayer in back of the ambulance asking to make it to this day, and welcoming our two families journey together. From here Ashley and Sherry read their vows to one another, Rada worked her magic and a marriage was made. All of this kicking off an atmosphere of jubilation among the witnesses that seemed as if to address a shared humanness between two individuals, their community of friends, and their families saying a love is a love, what is the big deal America?     https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10103704190883594.1073741830.2309995&type=1&l=fc1ca557b2  (link to more pics)

 Ashley and Sherry would make their way back down the aisle to enthusiastic applause and cheers as the crowd made there way back over to the barn abuzz with how special the ceremony was. Now I know everyone believes this wedding or that one was the most beautiful, etc. but as several folks who we spoke with right after and just recently said there was something extra special about this day, both wedding and reception. Whether it was the historic location, the little touches with attention to detail or the significance of two females declaring their love for one another and seeing their family and friends benevolence for the event that made it so special.

From here I am going to share some brief highlights for me of the reception and remainder of the evening.

Reception highlights:

 

some of the Ashley's happy dancing family

Newlyweds entrance into barn: After pictures with immediate family

and post wedding shots Ashley and Sherry made their way into the back entrance of the barn to more applause where the celebrating had begun.

Toasts: Each of the 3 toasts were special in their own way. One from Hilary, giving a brief history of the relationship and her friendship with Sherry, one from Sherry's mom which prompted more tears as she welcomed Ashley into their family, and Cousin Erin, which brought the most tears to me as she recalled her and Ashley's evolving friendship over the years.
Traditional Chinese Tea Ceremony:A special ceremony Ashley and Sherry had with Sherry's family out back of barn in a gazebo sharing tea and receiving of gifts from Tony and Tracey and family.
Dances:Sherry's mom danced with Sherry to "Sherry Baby" by 4 Seasons as everyone joined in and I had my Daddy-Daughter dance moment to "Love Me Tender" by Elvis. Moments I will always treasure as I look at photographs and see how tenderly we are both holding one another, careful to not step on toes:). Had to be close to one of most photographed moments of the day.

Friends lifting Sherry and Ashley on their shoulders:A special moment at the end of their first dance together particularly for the friends who had been a part of  and seen this relationship grow. 

Grandpa dancing w. maracas:My dad at 82 dancing with daughter Callie with my maracas in his hands to Bob Seger.
Dancing and general spirit of reception:the spirit of of the dance took off from where the Bridal dances left off. It was if the DJ and dance floor had been transposed from a bar in Boston area to Peabody with everyone doing their patented moves and then some such as Mary P. who's headstand was a personal highlight.I had brought my bag of musical tricks, maracas and tambourines to add to the beat. They were kept busy most of the night pushing the dancers to exhaustion.
Photo booth:Most weddings and special parties these days provide photo booths for a special touch; as only can be evidenced by seeing the pics everyone seemed to partake and enjoy a chance of posing with their group or significant other. The group shot near the end of the night was a testament to all of those taking part. Did I say men must of been outnumbered like 5 to 1?
After party:Many of those present were staying somewhere in Salem so an after party was in order as the night was still fairly young after so many pitched in to do take down and pack up. So off to the Salem Waterfront Hotel pub we would take the party. Even my Dad and Bev hung out as did Karen, Kathy, Luke, Jeanne, Erin, BMad and Deb and numerous other friends continued their chants and shouts out to the newly wedded. Some participants carried on they should in their rooms well beyond last call.
Drive back:After a late breakfast in Salem with many of Ashley's friends Callie, Mary and I were off headed for home. Andrew would end up getting a ride to airport from BMad and spend some time with him listening to BMad's short stories:) We ended up picking up cousin Sharon near Cleveland the next day where she was dropped off by the UP car saving them an out of the way trip. also, on the way back we learned my brother's heart surgery went well and he was resting in recovery. Erin was on her way there to Detroit with my Dad, Bev,and Jeanne to be with him. Dennis, Grandma and Jo were missed but would relive it through pictures and remembrances like this.

So there you have it my Once in a Lifetime recap of a wonderful few days in many folks lives. I am sure everyone took something different away from this time and would tell their own unique tales. This is mine. In a new year, another chance at a new beginning I dedicate this to Ashley Kay, my first born and always ready risk taker with Dad, whether down a snowy hill, an ice rink, driving a golf cart or on a roller coaster and her best friend, partner, and wife Sherry. They made so much of these days special for Mary, Callie and I and so many others, and for that thanks. Now they are able to continue to work together creating their lives. Fortunate we all are to have been a part of such an event. Recognizing that slowly and eventually our world will come to realize that mature love for another and wanting to legally be a pair and pursue hopes and dreams together is just a function and desire of being human.     

once in a lifetime:The Wedding Day Pt.1

As the wedding day was upon us Ashley had a pretty good idea of who and how many invitees would be attending. It was not a huge event but around 100 were possible. The most significant no show would be my mother, brother and sister in law who were driving from Detroit. 3 days before they were to leave my brother Dennis, left work feeling ill and went to hospital where after diagnosis the Drs. told him he would  not be going anywhere, he had major blockage in at least 3 arteries so he needed a bypass, ASAP, like on Monday day after the wedding. All plans were off for travel and luckily they were able to cancel hotel reservations. So this would be a big blow to having all grandparents there. At 82 My mom was nervous about making the trip by car but was gonna go for it. They all would be missed but the show must go on.

Now on the positive side, my dad, Step-Mom Beverly, and sister Jeanne would represent Symon's side of family from Detroit area.. At 82 my dad is still used to road travel and up to it but Jeanne would do most of driving. Cousin Erin, my niece was still going to make the trip from San Francisco and represent for her dad, bro Marshall and step-mom Jo-Ellen. Erin and Ashley have been buds since being little ones, becoming closer as they have grown into young women and Erin was to be one of the speakers making a toast.

Sisters gettin ready!

By Saturday night all family were in or around Salem. Soaking up sights, sounds and smells that are unique to Boston area. Several of Mary's family, Ashley's aunts and uncle, cousins made the road trip from Michigan, Wisconsin and were among those ready for a party. My BFF and world traveler Bill had managed an invite and had arrived before anyone, staying in an AirBnB in Salem by the sea waiting anxiously for us all to arrive. His plus one would be an old friend from Fraser, Deborah who lives in Portland, Maine and would fit right in with this crowd.

Sunday came quickly as Mary and I drove in from Framingham taking the same basic route as the Boston Marathon does into town. For me a somber reminder of that day in April and the aftermath for the people of Boston. This day of course was about life moving and new beginnings. We all had our itineraries from the bride with our times and responsibilities for he day from the Bride. We had joked at dinner that someone had hinted at some Bridezilla in Ash but I came to see it as her skills as a wedding planner and eye for detail. My first job was dropping Mother of the bride off at the Salon in Jamaica Plain where sissies were already under their makeovers for the main event. I took a quick pic and moved back to Ashley and Sherry's place in JP where only Andrew, Sherry and myself would be hanging out til load up time and leaving for the wedding site in Peabody, near Salem. Sherry was reviewing or writing her vows and I my piece I would say during the ceremony.  We all would soon be back packing the flowers, table and hall decorations, wedding dress, and all our stuff into 3 vehicles and heading to Peabody.
After Sherry ordered and picked up lunch for everyone and Mary, Callie and  Ashley's return home. We began the packing process as Ashley's co-workers Doug and Kelsie came by to lend a hand and car space. Kelsie assisted Ashley with a lor of the wedding planning and both found a love for it in the process. Kelsie was several months pregnant but worked right along with us all in the prep. Soon cars were full and our rental would try and follow Sherry and Ashley thru Boston streets and highways to Salem, Peabody and the Smith Barn property. Sherry warned me she would probably lose me and she did somewhere after we passed Fenway Park on a game day. Our GPS would take over and navigate again. Even after a near accident in a tunnel and a missed turn we, Mary,Callie, Andrew and myself made it to the farm where the wedding would take place. It was a sunny, warm and slightly humid day as we began the unloading and merged with caterers and Smith Barn staff to set up the decor. Other friends of Ashley and Sherry pitched in as they arrived. The barn was warm but great breezes and well placed fans would keep it pleasant as we worked. As we finished, Mary and our daughter's would head over across the street from barn to where wedding ceremony would take place to get dressed and final bridal touches would take place.

Smith Barn ready for a celebration

This gave Andrew and I a chance to catch our breath and relax for a bit until we needed to get ready. Sherry would get dressed over in the small historic house too. When done Ashley and Sherry would do all of the "first look" photos as the photographers had arrived. Mary's family had arrived and we awaited my dad, Bev, Erin and Jeanne's arrival along with other hotel guests on the shuttle from Salem.

(Due to length Wedding Day, a fathers perspective, split up in 2 parts) Pt. 2 follows ...

once in a lifetime

I couldn't pass up this opportunity to return to the blogosphere after Mary and I walked our oldest daughter, Ashley Kay down the aisle to wed  her "best friend" Sherry. Since my last blogs just about a year ago involved my telling of my heart attack experience and request to the divine powers that I make it to the wedding this summer it was an excellent time for an update and share our experience in a wonderful event in Peabody, MA.
As with most stories there is much to tell in little side stories that went on along the way there and back. Our trip to Boston would be our first trip driving since we took Ashley and all her stuff 5 years previous to a new job after graduating college with fair trade importer Equal Exchange. One difference younger daughter Callie was riding with us on this road trip. We also carried other precious cargo destined to be part of the wedding and some of Ashley and Sherry's shower gifts Ashley was not able to transport back with her on the airline in May. Let me just say our trip to Jamaica Plain was memorable for driving in daylight, heavy downpours, sunshine, rain, quick service rest stops, singing-grooving to Sirius radio, laughs, text exchanges w/ relatives driving to Boston too, almost being a part of other's road rage and as we entered Western Mass. a lovely rainbow rose over the mountains in the eastern sky, a sure sign of good fortune.. Fitting not only for the wedding we would attend in 2 days but for the recent Supreme Court ruling from earlier in the week that gave rights to gay and lesbian married folk. We would arrive in JP just as dark was settling in and our GPS guide brought us to our destination despite Boston's trying traffic setups.
As expected Ashley and Sherry's place was full of both pre-wedding anticipation and wedding stuff, ready for last minute alterations and transport to wedding, most of which Ashley and Sherry had created and prepared in the days prior. As we were all quite tired I don't remember us doing much that night but adjusting piles and discussing Saturday's plans of golf for me, Sherry, Rada and Tony, Sherry's dad and obtaining and preparing flowers for the wedding by Mary, Ashley, Callie,  Mary P, Tracy and Jenny, Sherry's mom and sister. Rada and Mary P. are close friends of the brides who helped in so many ways. Rada would be doing the presiding over the ceremony and Mary would be supervising and creating many of the flower arrangements with help from the others. We knew we would be up early and at em so we would try and get some sleep after our long journey.

It would be the first meeting of the families today and our golf tee time was at 10:00 so there was not a lot of time to dawdle. After bfast we were off, I rode to the course with Tony and it would give us a chance for the dads to talk before we hit the links and watch our daughters get married. A chance of rain was in forecast but we were optimistic golfers even if our playing partners had little or no golf experience. As the day went on Tony and I would get to know one another and learn more about how we all arrived at this place in both families history. We would carry on with clubs in tow.
Carry on we did, as the moms and sisters were picking, purchasing and preparing flowers we golfers were bonding at an old course north west of Boston. The golf was fun and as we finished 18 holes sunshine was coming out. Rada and Sherry acted more like caddies and chauffeurs the second nine but it still made for fun and getting to know each other better. Upon our return we learned the remaining women enjoyed their gathering of the flowers to be used in the wedding.It was a meaningful time for all, as evening fell we went out for a nice dinner in Jamaica Plain. We all had jobs assigned for the wedding day as Ashley had it all spelled out from hour to hour. Mary and I had a room reserved in Framingham, 30 minutes away so we headed out after dinner and Andrew, Callie's beau, had arrived as Sherry volunteered to scoop him up from the airport. They would stay at Sherry and Ashley's place.

the moms

 I am quite sure no one slept as well as needed before Sunday's big doings as anticipation was as heavy upon us as the humid Massachusetts air. So much planning and expectation precede most weddings and this was no different. It did have a sense that something special was happening on Sunday, as not only different cultures were bringing their traditions and families together but Ashley and Sherry and their friends were putting on a joyous celebration of love between individuals as a human thing not something legislated or controlled by federal or state laws. In the second part of this story I will lay out from my perpective, father of the bride, what I saw and took part in on June 30, 2013.

Part Two: Motivation

It seemed like only a few minutes but must of been at least a couple of hours and I was being wheeled out of surgery with a stent in my LAD, a major artery on the left side of the heart, providing oxygen and blood to my body again. It was totally blocked. As Mary and Callie, wife and youngest daughter were brought into my post-op care area, emotions ran high. My surgeon came in and announced to us that I had indeed had the "Widowmaker", a major heart attack that often kills. He was saying in order to survive, time was crucial in getting to him so he could do what needed to be done.  Apparently, I did the right things. Mainly not waiting but calling 911 when I did and then the fast action of first responders and EMT's all came together for a positive result.
I spent two nights in the hospital only getting sleep on one night, my roommate let's say was a bit restless and I was under constant observation. Mary and Callie were by my side much of the time the first 24 hours most of which I was not supposed to move my legs because of the location in my groin where the stent was administered. Callie got me the little kitty from the gift shop seen in part one so that I could feel like Neko our cat was with me. Mary climbed in bed with me first night and stayed as long as she could comfortably handle. I had several guests during my stay and I thank Peter, Marty, Patrick, Mike, Susan, Jazz, Barb, Melvis, Andrew and John Cauchon for your visits.  The calls and messages began to pour in as word spread to family and friends. We tried keeping it off Facebook as long as we could without freaking people out about WHAT HAPPENED? My emotions were all over the place as I spoke with my daughter Ashley in Boston who it was tough for being so far away, my brothers, sisters, nieces, parents and friends.
I was to be released in a timely fashion at noon as things went well in my early recovery. I thank my Doctor, Nurses, PA's and CNA's who assisted me during my stay at Borgess, they were great.
My progress of recovery enabled me to be released after only 2 days of hospitalization as my vital signs were where they needed to be and my groin area where the stent was put in thru was healing on schedule. I was happy to be leaving after my exit interview with cardio PA telling me what my recovery SHOULD look like in the coming days, weeks and months. As I was wheeled out I hoped I would not be returning soon from any aftershocks.
As Mary and I arrived home my mom and dad pulled up behind us driving up from Detroit, 81 years young on a visit my dad had said they had to make as I told them it wasn't necessary. My parents have been divorced for over 50 years but have always been able to communicate and put family first. My step-mom, Beverly had to stay back as she was watching my niece and nephew so she couldn't make it. It was a nice short and sweet visit as daughter Callie came by to welcome me home too. They stayed for some lunch and after a few hours of reminiscing and talk of gratefulness for my survival they headed back to Detroit area. As they left I told them what special people and parents they are.
The next few days were still part of a whirlwind of visitors and adjustments to new medications as I took no blood pressure or cholesterol meds prior to this which may have at least played a part in my attack. There really no major signs beforehand it occurred.
I was still fielding calls and receiving handwritten cards and emails and the news inevitably squeaked out on Facebook. There were warm home visits from Patrick and Peggy, bearing gifts of food, flowers and kind words and Keith and Cathy with of course the most unorthodox drove of cardio remedies and satirical words of wisdom included. Cathy, your card provided the balance of kind sentiment. Thank You All.
My first real test of endurance was on a camping trip with ole pals Jazz and Mike first weekend of October using Mike's new camper celebrating our birthdays. We had this annual get together planned prior to heart attack and all went well as we camped at a sweet spot on Black River near South Haven. We golfed on a beautiful fall day and I hit the ball as good as ever. Wonderfull weekend that could be another blog in itself.

 
Somewhere in here in mid-October I had another little reminder of mortality and passage of time when I turned 60. It was made extra special by a surprise visit from out east by daughter Ashley. It had been planned before the events of 9/11 but kept a good secret from me as I was totally surprised when on the Thursday before my birthday Mary, Callie and Ashley came in the side door while I was in my routine of making dinner. I said, "You trying to give me another heart attack"? In jest of course.Speechless, I was for sure. Her presence made the weekend all the more special, as our family celebrated relatively quietly with a few friends out to dinner.
My first office visit at the Heart Center was not for almost a month and I would need a stress test first to approve me for cardiac rehab. I passed and began cardio exercise and heart health classes in early November. I am in class with folks who are 5-20 y ears older for the most part. Mostly nice, pleasant people in similar or worse situations than myself. The nurses and interns are dedicated and kind. I am doing well in rehab, bumping up my pace on workout machines and stamina weekly with little side effects, My main concern is I keep losing weight as I try and hold on to muscles I still have. I may be a little too cautious on calorie low fat stuff but Jeff Lambert may be correct in saying DRINK ENSURE! ENSURE! for protein.

This brings me to the title of these tomes, MOtivation. MOtivation to embrace life, love, improve, write, make music, alter behavior, be grateful. I too often allow myself to be melancholy wondering why things turned out the way they did that September day. Why others I know or read about do not make it or have another chance like I did. Then something like the recent tragedies occur and I know my situation pales in comparison. So PERSPECTIVE is another word I struggle with. Trying to keep my perspective positive in knowing how much future I have to live for. All the concern and encouraging responses I received and still receive as some friends just find out what happened gives me strength to move onward. An altered perspective means defining focus as to what truly is most important to me. I am still processing the what and the how of that relates to the time I have left in this world and how fragile a line we walk between life and death. In other parts of the world even more so.
In this season of celebration of identifying light amongst the darkness I see my own condition as well as Every mans, as Jackson Browne once put it, in The Pretender, " I've been aware of the time going by, they say in the end its the wink of an eye, and when the morning light comes streaming in, we get up and do it again, Amen."
I will close part 2 dedicating this to the support of my wife, and daughters, all my family and friends, and to those whose time here seemed to be over too early; the Martha's, the Jerry's, Lincolns, the Billy's, Harry's, Jimmy's and Rob's as well as the others mentioned in part one. Your light still shines in some one's hearts as Jesus' spirit does all over the world. I profess to try and be better, more appreciative and seek out and help those in greatest need. We never know when our light in this life will go out.

Peace to you and yours