Dog-Gone-It

One of the hardest things to do is having to put a dog down and staying with it after the shot is given. Their life fading away in your arms. Knowing it is the best thing to do does not make it hurt less. You know how much you will miss having them around, just laying there-being there in the room or out in the yard. The long walks since faded in old age but the memories and loving looks still there, the companionship paramount.

After Maddie had passed, I laid her down on the table and sobbed into her always velvety ears. Telling her how much I will miss her and farewell. I had already given the vet assistant the check to fill in as I did not want to deal with that after I left the room. Our vet was very compassionate and gave me my time alone, as much as I want he said. I could only take a few more moments with her, gathered myself somewhat, removed her collar and walked out. Getting in the car I had a new mission, heading to Detroit for a few days to bring my mother home from the hospital after open heart surgery and assist her in her recovery. The solo drive was good, giving me more time to grieve and shift gears listening to music of my choice on the way. Nothing like a little Warren Zevon for the proper perspective.

A sunny day was Madelyn Rose's last, a good final walk around her snowy domain, the backyard and a final ride that she was so willing to take. Proud and loyal as they come. She was true to her parent's champion status. It's unfortunate that her body would not support her desires any longer. Such is this life and death drama we lead and so tough to put it into words that are able to express it all.

Giver

Watching you laying there with the tubes attached, your breaths soft and slow,

the fragility of life comes home, yet beyond that I see your

quiet determination inside, your faith shaken but never lost.

The giver that you are and always have been to us and all

around you taking a well-deserved break. I know you believe to have another day is a miracle

to give again with your encouraging words, holding a person in your thoughts

so they know you care, that will remain everlasting.

Giver, forgiver, believer that today is a chance again to pull someone

in from out in the cold, offer them warmth, kindness and hope with a smile, a hug or a chuckle.

Giver, mother, friend and lover you see the light but also create light for all of us to share

when we are around you. Let us learn that gift.

*for mamere' while she recuperates after her heart surgery

Febrrrrweary Moanins

I have not done much Monday Moanin writing lately so here is one:

(JoeC n Wedgie n me pic on Left)

No Holds Barred and Super Sunday have passed; both rituals spent with good friends and some family. The Saints did go marching in! Frozen lakes, hot tubs, fried fish, wings and things, steaks and camaraderie was the key to it all. Then last week on the heels of my trip to Detroit my sister -in-law Jo E. calls to tell me my mother was in the hospital after having a "minor" heart attack. She is doing well but will need a triple by-pass this week to repair blockage of arteries. My family is great at coming together and helping to make it all work out.

From the heart repair to the heart holiday where being the romantic I am, I usually get the card, flowers, the chocolate, the music, etc.. I figure it's a good mid-winter break shake-up. Oh yes and taking Mary out to dinner. As part of all this our dog of 13 years has been struggling to survive and I thought she would be have to be put down by now as Saturday she was really having some more serious internal digestive issues. Mary did go out Saturday evening, friend Susan was performing and we were going to make that part of our plan. First restaurant I had in mind we went to was not even open so we found a Chinese place not far away keeping in the spirit of the Chinese New Year. We had a pleasant meal, thanks to one of the most upbeat waitresses we have ever had even though during the course of the meal I had a tooth or crown come off my tooth but caught it before swallowing it.

To wrap up the dinner portion Mary was eating the fortune cookies (I gave her mine as I could no longer crunch anything) and my cookie had no fortune, " if I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all". Seemed fitting for the type of news we had been getting recently. We did get a good laugh from that though and headed over to the bar where Susan was playing and meet up with some other friends.

Both BadMike and GoodMikes showed up as did Jazzman and Barb and I was ready for a good Martini and had that. Jzman has had his own share of struggles lately and it was good to see him getting out and socializing with friends. The music and atmosphere was needed on this Saturday night of Valentines weekend.

Sunday came and it was spent with expressions of devotion to and from mom, daughters, wife, family and friends. Maddie, our pooch, had a better day, a sunny day, and Mary's sister Karen and bro-in-law Charlie stopped in and spent the night after a family trip to Chicago and were headed back to St. Ignace. They got to hear our tales of woe and as always were supportive. Callie was home with us and her hug goodnight made for a nice Valentines nightcap.

Now my Mom's surgery looms this week and is scheduled for Wednesday. She is as loved as the love she gives, so she has many prayers being said for her and my-step dad and we all look to having her healthier after the operation. I must now go to the food pantry and do my weekly gig there and then get my tooth re-installed from my friend KRK the oral care master.

As I have said many times here before I know I am blessed with great family and friends and it is those blessings that give us the strength to face what life throws at us. Peace ya'll

They Say You Can't Go Home

There is truth is the sentiment from Thomas Wolfe's book, Look Homeward Angel that

" you can't go home again" but most of us do go back home at some point for a visit or to stay but it never is the same. Here is a word collage of my last 3 days of a road trip through time and space to my hometown>

getting fuel -the trumpeters swan swoop in and serenade-hawks look out and fly with me along the corridor of 94-mother awaits my home outgrown-hugs and off we go to the assisted living aging places-nobody really wants to but sometimes it's best-a place to rest-my step dad sad-my friends mom not too happy-there is good will lost and found there-dinner for two, just mother and son we talk about what must be done-back home it is to a quiet night big screen visions feeling right-

breakfast for two-instant coffee will do- I am off for research on the story that's due plus a walk in a park that was once was something new-i find some Buschemi's slices nearby-I meet up with mom she's got supplies in the trunk-brother and Jo and coming over to eat-mama cooks while i pour the wine-reminisce converse with chocolates over time-some surprise reveals then hugs and kisses good night-off in the morning with the Detroit soul after mom read me poems written years ago-more hawks overhead on 1-94 watching me leave closing the door-on a fast trip filled with good stuff-the kind that works without much cleaning up-you can go home searching the past-you end up creating more from things made to last*